When I was young Christmas was a big deal. We would practice Christmas songs in Sunday School and put on a big 'concert' for the church members. this was a formal affair, calling for new dresses, patent leather shoes, ( which by the way were cold on the feet!) and of course curlers in the newly washed hair. New suits and shoes for the boys with matching ties. It was a wonderful experience to know that we were taking part in a birthday party for Jesus. To this day I love the smells, sounds and memories of Christmas.
As we grew older the routine changed, we no longer the effort to have that special concert, or the new clothes to go with it. The gifts changed from childish want to needs. I recieved many pj's hats mittens and last but not least the perverbial Christmas evening oyster stew was finallhy tasty. I even had oysters in it!
When I left home and started a shortlived marriage I tried to make Christmas special for my son, the marriage ended after the third family Christmas and things were never the same again. Christmas and it's meaning lost all its glory to me. I drifted in and out of people's lives trying to fill the huge void left by giving my son's custody to his father. I truly loved my son and new he would be better cared for by his father. Now Christmas Eve became the memory of my son's baptism and the reminder that I no longer was a big part of his life. I turned to drugs and alcohol to fill the void that could not be filled. For 20 years I lived in a fog of booze, drugs, parties, seeing my son only to have to send him back to his father, meeting people and then forgetting those people and moving onto the next group of partiers. It finally happend to hit me at one time: How is this working for you? It was time for a change and when I found out I had hepatitis C is when things changed. thanks to the power of the Lord by my side.
For over 10 years now I have committed myself to service for the Lord. I know he never left my side, He was waiting for me to come to the salvation He alone can give. This Christmas is a special one for meI truly can see that the Lord loves us all and it is up to us to accept Him and let Him into our hearts and lives. He is the master of all, without Him we are drifters with no direction and looking at eternal damnation.
I after 20 years without a job, have a wonderful part time job, I am better able to deal with my fibromyalgis, have long ago cleared the Heppitis C from my blood. I can awake everyday and not wonder what I am going to do, I am very active and seem to possess the endurance to make it thru the day. Thanks to the Lord I have a contentment I have never before felt. Thank You son God for giving me the strength and the tools I needed to arrive at this point in my life. I realize all people are sinners and one sin is not any worse than the other, man's law is based on Your laws and in the end of all time you will be my judge and If you deem me that believer I shall join you in Heaven for everlasting life.
